gratuitous blogging

ok, i don't really have all that much to say at the moment because
a) i have a lot going on in my life (new job possibly?!?!?, we're having a MESS of a time with immigration and gavin's work visa expires on the 13th and we somehow haven't been approved yet even though they said we would be by now, i still have NO AGENT, i could go on but will spare you).
b) there just really isn't that much going on that i want to talk about. ok, britney's in for psych treatment. i couldn't care less. i'm so tired of her it makes me ill.
c) there's lots of politics to talk about, but i'm going to save that for a double whammy mardi gras day/super tuesday post
d) i could talk about chinese new year but i'll save that for the actual day (the 7th).

BUT i'm tired of opening this up to see if i have comments and looking at that scary dead woman on that scientology post. so, i've decided to put up this kind of ridiculously funny youtube thing. it might not seem like you want to watch them, but you do. i promise. just do it. really.




and the follow-up video...

The war on Scientology

Here's a video that the Scientologists don't want you to see...



and an excerpt from antoher tom cruise speech that people are comparing to Goebbels'...




AND NOW THE WAR BEGINS????

i don't know who this woman is, but....

HOLY IMPLANTS, BATMAN!!

ugh, stupid blog

ok, i started a post on Wednesday about the Wars of the Roses. I just finished it today. for some reason it won't post it on top, so you have to scroll down a little to see it!!!
arrrghhh. it's just three posts down and i'm sure you will all find it fascinating and wonderful! so, don't forget to scroll down, read, and comment!!

much love,
nic

Heath Ledger's memorial protest?!? What is wrong with these people? No, seriously, what's wrong with them?

we all know by now about the sad death of the actor Heath Ledger. i'm not here to talk about the hows and whys of his death. i honestly don't care if it was suicide or accidental, what drugs he was on, or where they found him. he seemed like a good guy, he had a young daughter, i thought that he was a good actor who chose some really good projects to work on, and now he's gone. it's terribly sad.

what concerns me the most (other than the fact that his now 2 year old daughter has lost her father and the grief of his friends and family) is that there are INSANE right-wing Christian conservatives who are mocking his death and planning on picketing and protesting at any memorial or funeral services that will be held (some even say that if they are to take place in australia, that they will fly out there to picket). all of this is because of Heath's role in the film Brokeback Mountain.

a) do these people know that he wasn't really gay?

b) are they SO anti-homosexuality that they are going to devastate this man's family and friends by interrupting his funeral with shouts and jeers?

c) even if he was gay, he's dead now. why are they still on him?

d) what the hell is wrong with these people?

e) seriously, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?

you can find what i'm about to print here on their UNBELIEVABLE website http://www.godhatesfags.com/ (seriously?)

this is all about the westboro baptist church

this is part of the news release that they put out. they are sick bastards.

"Yes. WBC will picket this pervert's funeral, in
religious protest and warning: "Be not
deceived; God is not mocked." Gal. 6:7. Heath
Ledger thought it was great fun defying God
Almighty and His plain word; to wit: God Hates
Fags! & Fag-Enablers! Ergo, God hates the
sordid, tacky bucket of slime seasoned with
vomit known as 'Brokeback Mountain' - and He
hates all persons having anything whatsoever
to do with it.
Heath Ledger is now in Hell, and
has begun serving his eternal
sentence there - beside which,
nothing else about Heath Ledger is
relevant or consequential."

the fact that these people are really going to do this makes me ill. the fact that they would even THINK to do this makes me ill. nothing else about him is consequential?!? yeah, i'm sure that Jesus is totally down with this decision, you fuckheads.

YOU WANT SOME BIBLE QUOTES, JACKASSES???

"Judge not, that ye be not judged (Matthew 7:1).”

“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you (Matthew 7:12).”

"But when they persisted in asking Him, He straightened up, and said to them, 'He who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at her."' (John 8:7)

Let a man who did you no wrong rest in peace. Let him family mourn him. Leave him be. If anything, pray for him. That's what Jesus would do. I don't even practice that faith and I know this. How is it that I know more about your God than you do? You are not Christians, you have created your own world of hate and you will dwell in it forever.

My heartfelt sympathy goes out to Heath Ledger's friends and family. I know that they are going through a really hard time right now, and I'm so sorry that you have these people to deal with on top of everything else. May he rest in peace. I'm sure he will be dearly missed.

speaking of poets, now it's time for my fave. may i introduce to you-- e. e. cummings

Edward Estlin Cummings was born October 14, 1894 in the town of Cambridge Massachusetts. he was a poet, painter, essayist, and playwright. his body of work encompasses more than 900 poems, several plays and essays, numerous drawings, sketches, and paintings, as well as two novels.

from wikipedia:
Despite Cummings' consanguinity with avant-garde styles, much of his work is traditional. Many of his poems are sonnets, and he occasionally made use of the blues form and acrostics. Cummings' poetry often deals with themes of love and nature, as well as the relationship of the individual to the masses and to the world. His poems are also often rife with satire.

While his poetic forms and themes share an affinity with the romantic tradition, Cummings' work universally shows a particular idiosyncrasy of syntax, or way of arranging individual words into larger phrases and sentences. Many of his most striking poems do not involve any typographical or punctuation innovations at all, but purely syntactic ones.

As well as being influenced by notable modernists including Gertrude Stein and Ezra Pound, Cummings' early work drew upon the imagist experiments of Amy Lowell. Later, his visits to Paris exposed him to Dada and surrealism, which in turn permeated his work. Cummings also liked to incorporate imagery of nature and death into much of his poetry.

While some of his poetry is free verse (with no concern for rhyme or meter), many have a recognizable sonnet structure of 14 lines, with an intricate rhyme scheme. A number of his poems feature a typographically exuberant style, with words, parts of words, or punctuation symbols scattered across the page, often making little sense until read aloud, at which point the meaning and emotion become clear. Cummings, who was also a painter, understood the importance of presentation, and used typography to "paint a picture" with some of his poems.


And here are some examples of my favorite poems (of his and of all time)... (and here it must be stated that most of his poems were unnamed and therefore are simply titled by the first line of verse. i will skip this formality when quoting his work, as that is not how he would want it done).

Me up at does

out of the floor

quietly Stare

a poisoned mouse

still who alive

is asking What

have i done

that You wouldn't have

______________________

O sweet spontaneous

earth how often have

the

doting

fingers of

purient philosophers pinched

and

poked

thee

,has the naughty thumb

of science prodded

thy

beauty .how oftn

have religions taken thee

upon their scraggy knees

squeezing and

buffeting thee that thou mightest conceive

gods

(but

true

to the incomparable

couch of death thy

rhythmic

lover

thou answerest

them only with

spring)

________________________

l(a
le
af
fa
ll
s)
one
l
iness

_______________________

who knows if the moon's

a balloon,coming out of a keen city

in the sky--filled with pretty people?

(and if you and i should

get into it,if they

should take me and take you into their balloon,

why then

we'd go up higher with all the pretty people

than houses and steeples and clouds:

go sailing

away and away sailing into a keen

city which nobody's ever visited,where

always

it's

Spring)and everyone's

in love and flowers pick themselves

______________________________

And now for (what i think) is the best poem ever written.

somewhere i have never travelled,gladly beyond

any experience,your eyes have their silence:

in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,

or which i cannot touch because they are too near

your slightest look easily will unclose me

though i have closed myself as fingers,

you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens

(touching skilfully,mysteriously) her first rose

or if your wish be to close me,i and

my life will shut very beautifully, suddenly,

as when the heart of this flower imagines

the snow carefully everywhere descending;

nothing which we are to perceive in this world

equalsthe power of your intense fragility: whose texture

compels me with the color of its countries,

rendering death and forever with each breathing

(i do not know what it is about you that closes

and opens; only something in me understands

the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)

nobody,not even the rain, has such small hands

i'm going to try to simplify this whole mess for everyone... The Wars of the Roses

the wars of the roses

unless you've studied this period in english history (and even for some of us who have) it is hugely complicated and confusing and you think that all that really happened was that it let shakespeare to write 'henry V' and 'richard III'. oh, and you might have heard something about princes in towers, but do you even really know who they were or why it was significant that they were locked up (and probably killed)? it's doubtful. but, it's important to know history (and even more important when it's actually really exciting when you get down to brass tacks- if you can see through all of the bullshit.

SO- let's start it slow. you know that if a king dies the throne passes to his eldest son. if that son dies it passes to his eldest son NOT to his brother or brothers. Herein lies the start of the kerfuffle that would be the Wars of the Roses.

Just a brief lineage here (and yes, this if from memory- not wikipedia)

we started with William I who conquered in 1066 then-

William II then-

Henry I (Henry I had no sons, only a daughter named Maude or Matilda- depending on who you ask, Henry wanted her to take the throne. Upon his death the nobles freaked and essentially installed her cousin Steven to the throne- this led to a long a drawn out civil war which ended in a treaty that stipulated that upon Steven's death, Maude's son Henry would ascend to the throne NOT Steven's son, thereby putting the lines of succession to rights by having Henry I's grandson on the throne) so-

Steven I

Henry II (will no one rid me of this meddlesome priest?- oooh, he's a post in himself)

Richard I (who was never really around and historians say was most likely gay which is why he got married and then promptly sent her to a convent never to see her again)

John I (this is Prince John of Robin Hood fame. We should all know him because he was such a right bastard that by 1215 he had lost the empire that his father and richard had left him and in that very year they made him sign the Magna Carta- if you don't know why that's important, call me. we have to have a talk). then-

Henry III (who caused his own little revolt with a great man leading the charge- Simon de Montfort- again, worthy of his own post). then-

Edward I- hammer of the Scots. surely you've seen Braveheart- as horribly inaccurate as it is. then-
Edward II- then-

Edward III- now this is where our troubles begin to emerge. The Plantagenet line started way back with Henry II. Just so that you know, we are talking about Plantagenet Kings here. Edward III had a whole mess of sons (and I mean a whole mess of them). His eldest Edward, the Prince of Wales, better known as The Black Prince, was all set to take the throne. Sadly, he died before daddy did. So, upon Edward III's passing, his eldest son Edward's eldest son took the throne (which is how it SHOULD be). So, we then get-

Richard II- here starts the real trouble. Richard died without an heir and so one of Edward III's grandsons stood up and took over (through a very weak claim to the throne he had because his Dad was John of Gaunt, Duke of Lancaster- one of Edward III's sons). So, now on the throne we have a deviation from the actual line, although they are all still Plantagenets (meaning all descended from Henry and Edward III). now we have---

Hervy IV- who was a Plantagenet, but a Lancastrian king, meaning that he came from the side of the Duke of Lancaster. There was another side of this family as well. It stemmed from Edward III's son, Edmund, the Duke of York.

Now, the York side of the family was a little miffed because they thought (and rightfully so) that their side's claim to the throne was just as good as those of the Lancastrians-if not better. The Lancastrian symbol was that of a red rose, the Yorkist symbol was that of a white one. When we get into the real in-fighting this explains why it is called The Wars of the Roses.

even though there were still rumblings from the Yorkist side we managed to keep on going with the Lancastrian line- after Henry IV we get-

Henry V (Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more; Or close the wall up with our English dead) and then his son after him-

Henry VI- first of all, history has not been kind to Henry. He ascended when he was something like 9 months old. His advisers were basically assholes and set him up so that when he did come of ae his kingdom was rife with discord and general unhappiness. He also suffered from bouts of sever mental illness (and this is primarily where I think that history has treated him unfairly). I think that his mental illness was genetic and the pressures of the throne and internal discord really kicked them into overdrive. Everyone in the kingdom (other than his advisers and other Lancastrians who had tons of power and money by now) said he was a nutter and he should go.

This is where the excitement begins... Henry's cousin, Richard, The Duke of York, descended down upon the king and (at first) just wanted to rid him of all of his awful advisers who were ruining the kingdom. It didn't work out this way. Through a long and drawn out series of battles (and exiles and re-emergences) The Yorkists ended up defeating Henry. Sadly, Richard had died in these battles, so his son became the first Yorkist King of England. so, now we have-

Edward IV- Edward was pretty popular but, needless to say, there were still battles and skirmishes as the Lancastrians tried to gain back the throne. There were some issues in his court (his primary advisor- Warwick- was PISSED when he married someone that hadn't been approved by him- this ended with Warwick imprisoning and trying to depose Edward, but with the aid of Edward's brother Richard it was unsuccessful). In the end, it worked out for the best (for a hot second). When he died his eldest son ascended the throne-

Edward V- he was only 12 when he ascended and he had been brought up under dubious circumstances- ie- by people- the Woodvilles- that the court did not like. Edward's brother Richard had been named the protector of England (which was common when the King is so young). Those who did not like the Woodvilles formed an alliance aiming to get Edward V off of the throne. Some say that Richard, Edward's uncle was one of them. Many historians today believe that this is crap and that he wanted his nephew to be king and wanted to simply remain as protectorate. Now, remember how Edward IV married someone who wasn't liked? Well, she was a Woodville. This is where it gets particularly sticky.

Richard (the uncle) or someone- the debate rages as to whether Richard was the one who went and got them- goes and gets the king (Edward V) and his younger brother from the Woodvilles. They are brought to the Tower of London.

Then a whole mess of nobles (some say Richard was one of them, some say he wasn't) declared that Edward IV's marriage to the Lady Woodville was illegal, therefore making the two boys (one of whom was King Edward V at the time) illegitimate. This meant that Richard would be the natural heir to the throne. And so...

Richard III becomes king. The Princes remain in the Tower, are often seen playing on the grounds...until one day they are not. They are never heard from or seen again. Some say Richard had them killed, most historians today believe that one of Richard's supporters killed them without his knowledge. It is also said that Richard was cruel, a cripple, a hunchback, and hated his nephews.

What IS known is this- before the reign of the Tudor dynasty (who would take over after Richard) there is NOT ONE THING in the historical record that in any way implies that he was a cripple or a hunchback. In fact, it is mentioned that he was a great warrior and in good physical health. There is also record stating that he was a very doting uncle who loved his nephews and was very close to them, as he was very close to his brother. There is record that says that he was a pious man, very charitable and giving, and that he was a beloved son of England. It is only after the NEW dynasty comes to power that suddenly Richard is a monster who killed his nephews...

We all know that the winner writes the history book

and Henry had to make it look like him being the King was the right thing for whatever reason so...

you be the judge on that one.

So, in simple terms-- there's this other guy now. His name is Henry. He has a link to the throne through the Lancastrian line. He's been living in France and his mother really really wants him to be king. He gathers a bunch of Lancastrian supporters (as well as support through his mother from France) and attacks. Henry defeated Richard III, killing him, at the Battle of Bosworth Field.

He then takes the throne to become Henry VII. Thus ends the Plantagenet line, and begins the Tudor dynasty.

Of course, all of this madness (which took place over a century) led to huge repercussions in England. It weakened the people's notion of the power of the monarchy (which would be strengthened again by the Tudors, Henry VIII and Elizabeth I). It made it abundantly clear that infighting between nobles was severely detrimental to the well-being of the nation. It would then be up to the Tudors to regain control of the monarchy, its standing, its position of respect, and of the people of England.

The whole mess does make for a good story, though and we got some really good Shakespeare out of it. Whatever you do DO NOT watch that crappy Al Pacino Richard III movie. Ugh, so historically inaccurate and why on God's green Earth would you cast Winnona Ryder to play Queen Anne (Richard III's wife). She was probably high the whole time (which, you know, wouldn't you have to be to spend that much time with Pacino- HooHaa!!!)

from dream to legend to legacy...

may it one day become a reality.

MacDiarmid- Gavin's favorite poet, genius, and one of the founding members of what would become the Scottish Nationalist Party.

Ok, this might sound like a bit of a pain, but i cannot get this video to embed so that you can watch it on this blog. Meeg will attest to the fact that it is uber-cool and that you MUST watch it (it's about 2 mins long, tops). click on the link, then in the upper right hand corner you'll see a link to a video. click that and watch it. it is hugh macdiarmid reciting part of one of his trilogy of poems, 'hymns to lenin' while he walks along the edge of a wall. it's very odd and very cool.

http://www.luxonline.org.uk/artists/margaret_tait/hugh_macdiarmid-_a_portrait.html

read the post and then go back and watch the video. i promise that you won't regret it.

Hugh MacDiarmid was born Christopher Murray Grieve, in the Scottish border town of Langholm in 1892. MacDiarmid was interested by developments in contemporary poetry and literature in Scotland (as well as in Europe and Russia) and began to publish a poetry anthology entitled Northern Numbers as well as a literary magazine, Scottish Chapbook, which had as its motto 'Not traditions - Precedents!'’ MacDiarmid was also writing poetry and his first collection, Sangshaw, was published in 1925 with his major work, A Drunk Man Looks at the Thistle, appearing the following year.
Like many Scottish writers of the early twentieth century, MacDiarmid was fiercely political, and a strong believer in socialism. He felt deeply that Scottish life and culture was ill-served by its political position and, in 1928, was a founding member of the National Party of Scotland - today's SNP. In later years his political stance shifted towards Communism, and, in 1964, he stood as Communist Party candidate against the then Prime Minister, Sir Alex Douglas-Home.
MacDiarmid spent much of the 1930s cut off from mainland cultural developments on the Shetland island of Whalsay, but he continued to write ground-breaking and stylistically innovative poetry, as well as extensive journalism in which he explained his vision for a Scottish renaissance that was both cultural and political. Central to this vision was his belief that the Scottish psyche could not be adequately expressed in the English language alone, and that to develop and write in a synthetic Scots was the only way to achieve a coherent national voice. This was complimented in the 1930s and 1940s when he emphasised the significance of the Gaelic language in Scottish literature and life. His later poetry engages a plurality of voices, languages and forms of expression.
In his later years, MacDiarmid's outlook became increasingly internationalist and the slow but steady growth of his literary reputation allowed him to travel abroad, including visits to the USSR and China. Although he is now recognised as the principle force of the Scottish Literary Renaissance, financial success eluded him for most of his life and his last 27 years were spent living with his second wife Valda at Brownsbank, a cottage (with little in the way of comfort) near Biggar. MacDiarmid died in 1978 and the cottage is now run as a museum and writers' centre.

THESE lines, from Hugh MacDiarmid’s epic poem of 1926, A Drunk Man Looks at the Thistle, appear on the poet’s tombstone in the cemetery of Langholm

I’ll ha’e nae hauf-way hoose, but aye be whaur

Extremes meet – it’s the only way I ken

To dodge the curst conceit o’ bein’ richt

That damns the vast majority o’ men.

(Translated-

I'll have no half-way house, but always be where

Extremes meet- it's the only way I know

To dodge the cursed conceit of being right

That damns the vast majority of men.

here, MacDiarmid has taken this idea from Dostoevski- it means that he lives in extremities, he doesn't make due with the status-quo or settle into a niche of what is conceived to be correct. as soon as you begin to except so-called maxims, you cease to think for yourself and individuality begins to die.

example of his tremendous work (with english translation)

‘The Bonnie Broukit Bairn’

Mars is braw in crammasy,

Venus in a green silk goun,

The auld mune shak’s her gowden feathers,

Their starry talk’s a wheen o’ blethers,

Nane for thee a thochtie sparin’,

Earth, thou bonnie broukit bairn !-

But greet, an’ in your tears ye’ll droun

The haill clanjamfrie !"

In English-
Mars is handsome in crimson
Venus in a green silk gown
The old moon shakes her golden feathers
Their starry talk’s a pack of nonsense
None of them give a thought to you
Earth, you beautiful neglected child
But weep, and in your tears you’ll drown
The whole shooting-match

crap, now i have to go shopping for dungarees

it's been stuck in my head all day.
i'm am now passing the curse on to you. mwahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!

i'm a thieving bastard.

yes, that's right. i'm a thieving bastard. i couldn't come up with anything so i stole meeg's post (actually i commented back to him by filling out the same myspace questionnaire that he posted and now i've just copied and pasted that).

feel free to comment with your own answers....

1. What bill do you hate paying most? cell phone

2. Where was the last place you had a romantic dinner? Lilette

3. [Redacted] 3 was missing from survey when I found it.

4. If you could go back and change one thing what would it be? going to law school or i would have taken piano lessons when i was young

5. Name of your first grade teacher? no clue

6. What do you really want to be doing right now? counting my imaginary millions

7. What did you want to be when you were growing up? a writer

8. How many colleges did you attend? just one and the same for law

9. Why did you choose the shirt that you have on right now? i'm wearing a robe. choose it because it's 7:30am and i'm still half asleep. can't be arsed to put on real clothes.

10. What are your thoughts on gas prices? INSANE

11. If you could move anywhere and take someone with you where would it be? Scotland

I2. First thought when the alarm went off this morning? i don't want to go to work today

13. Last thought before going to sleep last night? i hope gavin makes it home ok (he got off at 2am)

14. Do you miss being a child? No, cus i think i kind of still am one.

15. Who is the last person you had an argument with? eileen

16. What errand/chore do you despise? Tidying up the apartment- i'm in agreement with meeg here.

17. If you didn't have to work, would you volunteer? Yes.

18. Get up early or sleep in? Sleep in

19. What is your favorite cartoon character? ooh, that's hard. maybe dr venture? maybe fry? hmmm, i'll get back to you.

20. Favorite thing to do at night with a woman? dance the night away

21. Have you found real love yet? yes

22. When did you first start feeling old? when the grey's really started coming in

23.What do you do for fun? depends on the day.

24. Your favorite lunch meat? tofu

25. What do you get every time you go into Costco? fruit, tea, coffee, milk

26. Beach or lake? lake

27. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual? yeah, actually i kind of do.

28. Do you own property? no

29. Favorite Guilty pleasures? smoking

30. Favorite movie you wouldn't want anyone to find out about? Teen Witch- i'm totally with meeg on this one. we've actually watched it together!!!!

31. What's your drink? iced coffee

32. Cowboys or Indians? Indians

33. Cops or Robbers? Robbers

34. Who from high school would you like to run in to? hmmmm, beran

35. What radio station is your car radio tuned to right now? 89.9 (NPR)

36. Norm or Cliff? Cliff because of his layman's knowledge of obscure facts- i agree with meeg

37. Grey's or 'The Office? The Office, both (american and british)

38. Worst relationship mistake that you wish you could take back? staying with someone longer than i should have.

39. Do you like the person that sits directly across from you at work? i work by myself.

40. What famous person would you like to have dinner with? hmm, james mcavoy?

41. Indoors or Outdoors? depends on where i am.

42. Have you ever crashed your vehicle? ohhhhh yes. in spectacular fashion (three parked cars in a row. hit one, backed up, put it back into drive, hit the next, reversed again, drive again, hit the third, gave the fuck up).

43. Have you ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purpose? Yes. but i can't remember when.

44. Last book you read? oh i don't even know- a thousand things...

45. Do you have a teddy bear? from when i was a kid, yeah.

46. Strangest place you have ever brushed your teeth? work maybe?

47. Somewhere in California you've never been and would like to go? Napa

48. Do you go to church? No

49. At this point in your life would you rather start a new career or a new relationship? new career.

50. How old are you? 31

Krewe du Vieux

Just in case all of you 'fugees wanted to know what was the haps this year with the KDV i thought i'd let you in on it....

The parade will start at 6:30 on Saturday, January 19th, at the corner Chartres and Elysian Fields. It goes down Chartres into the Faubourg Marigny to Franklin where it turns left. Up Franklin to Royal where it takes another left. We parade up Royal into the Quarter and keep going all the way to Conti. Left on Conti to Decatur and we head back to the Marigny and turn left again onto Frenchman. Party up Frenchman to Royal where we make our first right turn back onto Royal. Right again onto Elysian Fields and go back to the starting point at Chartres where the big Krewe du Vieux Doo at 2121 Chartres St. starting at 9:00. Tickets are $25 and sold at Louisiana Music Factory on Decatur, Miss Claudia's Vintage Clothing & Costumes down the street from ACE at 4204 Magazine, and also at Up in Smoke at 4507 Magazine St. Happy Carnival!!

kate...katie...holmes...cruise????

What in Gloria Vanderbilt is going on with Katie Holmes?

seriously, she's what, 25? this is insane! is it tom that's doing this to her or scientology? or both? is tom scientology? is he secretly L Ron Hubbard? i'm confused!!! Why does she look older than me? i'm 31!! is it the hair? the glasses? the jacket? all of the above? what the hell look is she going for? old yet fashionable crazy lady? remember when she was katie holmes and not kate cruise? she was sooooo cute.

this pic is probably 3 or 4 years old at most (if that). now you tell me that there's not some scary brain washing voodoo crazy crap going on here! god, that contract she signed must have been for a MASSIVE amount of money.

ahhh, life without the red carpet and glam of the golden globes

actually, at first i was upset about this. i am standing by the writer's guild though, and i'm glad that they haven't caved and are keeping up the strike. also proud of the actor's guild for refusing to cross the picket line.
then i thought to myself, actually maybe this is better. sure, sometimes funny things happen, and i always watch these things because it's like E! on crack, but maybe it's better to not stick all of these ego maniacal people in the same room together, give them free $15,000 dresses, let them wear millions of dollars of jewelery, and then force up to listen to their drivel for 4 hours. maybe just giving them out and they we find out later that night who won is the best way to go about it.

without any pomp and circumstance, here are the winners of golden globes from last night...

Motion pictures:

Picture, Drama: “Atonement.”
Actress, Drama: Julie Christie, “Away From Her.”
Actor, Drama: Daniel Day-Lewis, “There Will Be Blood.”
Picture, Musical or Comedy: “Sweeney Todd.”
Actress, Musical or Comedy: Marion Cotillard, “La Vie En Rose.”
Actor, Musical or Comedy: Johnny Depp, “Sweeney Todd.”
Supporting Actress: Cate Blanchett, “I’m Not There.”
Supporting Actor: Javier Bardem, “No Country for Old Men.”
Director: Julian Schnabel, “The Diving Bell and the Butterfly.”
Screenplay: Ethan Coen and Joel Coen, “No Country for Old Men.”
Foreign Language: “The Diving Bell and the Butterfly,” France and U.S.
Animated Film: “Ratatouille.”
Original Score: Dario Marianelli, “Atonement.”
Original Song: “Guaranteed” from “Into the Wild.”

Television:

Series, Drama: “Mad Men,” AMC.
Actress, Drama: Glenn Close, “Damages.”
Actor, Drama: Jon Hamm, “Mad Men.”
Series, Musical or Comedy: “Extras,” HBO.
Actress, Musical or Comedy: Tina Fey, “30 Rock”
Actor, Musical or Comedy: David Duchovny, “Californication.”
Miniseries or Movie: “Longford,” HBO.
Actress, Miniseries or Movie: Queen Latifah, “Life Support.”
Actor, Miniseries or Movie: Jim Broadbent, “Longford.”
Supporting Actress, Series, Miniseries or Movie: Samantha Morton, “Longford.”
Supporting Actor, Series, Miniseries or Movie: Jeremy Piven, “Entourage.”

i've never even heard of some of this shit, but atonement won and that just makes me want to say... james mcavoyyyyy mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. sigh.

just cus it's funny...

via videosift.com

the boredom is gonna get ya (sung to the tune of 'the rhythm is gonna get ya")

not to be redundant here or anything, but i was (in my intense boredom) reading casual encounters on craigslist again and came across this...(way less graphic than last time)-

I am the best you will ever have. I believe that I am because I'm not afraid to ask for what I want and I will do what I can to please. I am a size 8, medium build, nice rack, all my teeth, shoulder length red hair, green eyes, nice skin, don't look a day over 28, little makeup or jewelry, kinda wholesome & natural looking, not flashy nor a wallflower. Don't waste my time if not interested. Please be detailed and specific in terms of what you have to pique my interest!

ok, here's my thing...why does she have to make it clear that she has all of her teeth!?!?!!?

footnote- the heading says she's 28. god help her if she's wearing falsies already!!!

at some point magazine editors have decided that fug is the new cover look

seriously, we all know that keira knightley is a pretty girl. maybe she's waaaay too thin but she's got a great face (and i've heard she's spectacular in 'atonement'- pause for a moment to think of james mcavoy...mmmmmm....ok, done). why would they put her in something like this for the cover of a magazine? why would they make a 22 year old look way older and washed out? why would they make her sooooo fug? that outfit makes me want to stick sharp things in my eyes so that i never have to see anything like that again. ever ever again.

now this is keira as she should be... pretty, fresh-faced, looking young, nice outfit. this should be a cover!!

but then there's this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

wtf is going on here, people? she looks 40! and not a good, young 40- and old and haggard 40. the make-up is WRONG. outfit- WRONG. what's with the arm glove things? and the suspenders? is that so that we can see that she actually has no breasts at all? cus that's what i see!! who the hell approved this cover? where are her PR people? why would she let them do this to her?!?!?!?

she's not the only one. don't hate me, but i LOOOOOVE gwyneth paltrow. from 'sliding doors' to 'shakespeare in love' to 'proof'. i just can't get enough (we'll forgive her for 'bounce' for now). she has fallen victim to this fug is the new cover as well. she's soooo beautiful (she's the new grace kelly- and how fab is chris martin? i don't care if you don't like coldplay- his oxfam, make trade fair, charity work makes him a superstar in my book- plus he did that HILARIOUS guest spot on 'extras'). so what the hell happened on this cover?!?!

seriously, she looks like a man. and not an attractive one. why is she feeding a rat? why are her eyebrows so fing dark? why are her lips invisible? why does she look miserable? what the hell is going on? she's been in the industry long enough to know how to do damage control. where are her PR people? is she just trying to be so cutting-edge that it makes her that much cooler, but she's failed miserably? ugh, someone help.

see, this is my gwyneth...

look how beautiful she is. esp with her amazingly stunning mother blythe danner. this is my girl. beautiful, feminine. grace kelly. see how she has lips? see how her eyebrows match her face? see how she looks like a woman?

please help explain this new phenom. of the cover fug. it's driving me mental!!!

think your marriage has problems?

this story comes to us from the associated press (via msn)...

i'm just going to quote here because i don't know what to say other than, 'damn that's f-ed up'.

Twins separated at birth meet, get married

LONDON - Twins who were separated at birth got married without realizing they were brother and sister, a lawmaker said, urging more information be provided on birth certificates for adopted children.
A court annulled the British couple's union after they discovered their true relationship, Lord David Alton said.
"Everyone has a right to knowledge about their lineage, genealogy and identity. And if they don't, then it will lead to cases of incest," Alton said during a telephone interview Friday.
Alton first revealed details of the unusual case last month during a five-hour debate about a bill that would change regulations about human embryology.
"I was recently involved in a conversation with a High Court judge who was telling me of a case he had dealt with," Alton said according to a transcript of the Dec. 10 debate. "It involved the normal birth of twins who were separated at birth and adopted by separate parents.
"They were never told that they were twins," Alton said. "They met later in life and felt an inevitable attraction, and the judge had to deal with the consequences of the marriage that they entered into and all the issues of their separation."
Alton gave no additional details and would not reveal the name of the judge who told him about the case.

how sad must those two people be (and i mean in a mourning kind of way)? they think they've found their soul mates...and in a way they have. they must feel so much guilt about the incest, and yet be so conflicted about how they feel about each other.
do you think they'll ever be able to be close as brother and sister, or will they always look at each other and think about how they slept together? damn, that's f-ed up.

Why is everyone hanging at this guy's house? No, really. Somebody tell me!

remember when that crazy shit happened last year sometime when lilo (or lindsay trainwreck- whatevs) was hanging at bryan adam's place and she cliamed to have just gotten out of the shower and for some inexplicable reason was still wet and carrying a tea cup and dropped it and hurt herself? no? well, it happened people, and it was so fing nuts that nobody could believe it.

a) what the hell is with the, 'i had to get stitches because i broke a teacup' excuse? makes no sense.

b) why not dry off? why was this info divulged? were her hands wet and that's why she dropped the teacup? again, NO SENSE.

c) what the bloody hell is lilo (an f-ed up but a-list hot little starlet) doing hanging with bryan adams? yes, that bryan adams. 'summer of '69' bryan adams.

now this?!?!?!?!?!

(courtesy of swimatyourownrisk.com)

Amy Wino spent the past week at Bryan Adams’s villa in Mustique to freshen’ up for the new year. Apparently Amy says daily scuba diving trips with the Adams, and a gaggle of wild reef sharks at feeding time, have helped her kick her addictions. Yeah, Right.

who is bryan adams now that everyone's over there? what is the deal, people? somebody fill me in!!!

plus, doesn't crackhouse kind of look like she's about to die? not in a jokey way, but really.

Arrrgghhh, Scotland, why do you do it to me?

here's the headline...

The break-up of the union now appears inevitable

With nationalism on the rise in every corner, 2008 will see the UK stretched to breaking point. Yet still Westminster is oblivious.

here's the link...

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/story/0,,2238275,00.html

this article discusses essentially what we've discussed before. scotland's going to pull out (thereby dissolving the united kingdom), now there are rumblings from wales and (as always) more of a kerfuffle in N Ireland.

here's what i really want to talk about though-- england, scotland, wales, and northern ireland are all a part of the EU (because they are all a part GB, and GB is an EU member nation). if any of them pulls out of the union that makes them great britain it will all dissolve and there will be no more GB. england alone is not an EU member nation. neither is scotland, etc...

so, if it all falls apart do they all get grandfathered right back in? do they all have to re-apply for member status (which takes YEARS)? does that mean that people who know hold UK passports and are members of the EU will no longer be members of the EU? how do they let people decide where they want to hold their citizenship (say you were born in england, lived there until you were 20 and then moved to scotland to work. you've lived there for 20 years, your kids were born there, but you still consider yourself english- do you get to pick to be english? and then are your kids english by default? or do they get to pick when they come of age? do you get to pick at all or do you just become a citizen of whatever country you happen to live in (no matter how long you've lived there or where you were born)?).

this is so infinitely complicated i just can't even stand it!! there's no precedent for anything like this in the EU. i haven't read the entire EU Constitution so i don't even know if they've made a provision for something like this happening.

why is scotland really trying to make life so much harder on me? i've always wanted to live in the UK. i've always wanted EU member status. i'm married to a scottish national. i wanted (note past tense) to raise my kids in scotland, but not if it means they won't be EU members. it's the best club in the world to be a member of, and damn it my kids will be members!! i understand why they want to break away, i understand why they want and what they want, but is there not some way that they can amend treaties, etc and take more control over their own country without actually completely breaking away?

why are they going this to me?!?!?! (not to mention to the people of N Ireland, if they have to re-apply for EU member status they will NEVER get it. they're not economically viable enough. neither is wales). way to fuck it up for everyone, scotland. think of all the other subjugated lands that are your comrades before you run straight to dissolution!!!

they can take away my EU member status, but they can never take away my FREEDOMMM!!

"Be Quiet, Audio Science, Mommy's on the phone!"

this may or may not make me a freak, but i've been thinking about what i am going to name my kids since i was about 14. i've always wanted to name them something unusual, without going overboard. gavs and i have decided that in a ideal world we would have three kids, two girls and a boy. we aren't totally agreed yet but i think that it's going to go like this (keep in mind that they'll be raised in scotland)-- girl 1) nola mary (and we're going to hyphenate our names- for the sake of blogging i'll leave that off, but for those of you who know us you know it'll be d...-f....)

girl 2) suki laire d-f boy 1) dantes robin andrew d-f (and yes, that dantes as in edmond dantes of count of monte cristo fame). now, gavin doesn't like the name Laire nor does he like Dantes. Suki has GOT to have a middle name with ls in it though (maybe lola, lolita, ladli, something like that) and i'm stuck on dantes so i think he's just going to have to deal. suki is an off spelling of a belle & sebastain song, 'sukie in the graveyard', dantes we all know, nola we all know, and the others are mostly homages to family (mary is my deceased mother's name, robin is my brother, and andrew is my brother's name and my father's middle name). Laire is just a scottish name that starts with L that i kind of like, so it's subject to change.

anyhoo, all of the thinking about baby names (and a nice chat with meeg) got me to thinking of all the crazy, wacky names that celebs name their kids.

i'm going to give you a little taste of what the up and coming generation has to deal with...

we'll start with shannyn sossamon who named her child Audio Science. i think she did it just because she's crazy.

jason lee named his child Pilot Inspektor, but that's because he's a scientologist and therefore doubly crazy.

ahhh, the classics (and excusables)-- moon unit and dweezil zappa. their dad was frank. he was allowed to be as wacky as he wanted. i LOVE the name dweezil (oh, wait. is that just because he's sexy?)

you can always count on Bob Geldof for a good crazy name like Peaches or the ultimate in crazy (and yet somehow i absolutely adore it) Fifi Trixibelle. bob is another one of those guys who's just off it so i guess he's excused (he played Pink in the movie, after all...does it get more trippy than that?).

penn jillette, on the other hand, is talentless and not cool and so had no excuse for naming his child Moxie Crimefighter. except that's kind of cool, too.

on the other side of the spectrum of celeb baby names that people make fun of are names like Apple and Moses Martin (and even Peaches Geldof). they're english, people! they've been naming their kids after fruit for ages-- just let it go!! as for Moses, who knew that Gwyn was part Jewish? not me, but apparently she is and she was paying homage to that part of her heritage, so i say go for it!

i think Jamie Oliver and his daughter Poppy Honey are just downright adorable. i love that name. couldn't be cuter (neither could he- i don't even mind the weird lispy thing!).

i also think that Romeo and Brooklyn Beckham are cute names (i especially love Brooklyn). Cruz, well- meh.

i think the lesson here people is that you never know if you're suddenly going to become famous for that novel you've always wanted to write (ahem), or for doing something totally obscure and random- so watch what you name your kids! it's a fine line between audio science and poppy honey. one's adorable. one will be beaten with sticks on the playground. you guess which is which.

kind of hiliarious bill gates spoofing himself (plus loads of celebs, hillary, barack, and al)

ok, this is just kind of hilarious. who knew bill gates had a sense of humor? and i love that all these people were willing to go in on it and make fun of him, too. you go, jay-z (and bono, and matthew, and george, and hillary, etc, etc.)!

ok this is one of the reasons i like her so much...

I'm going to give it to Obama, the man can give a speech. He seems totally accessible. I'd go have a beer with him, sure. I'd probably go have a beer with W, too, though so that's not saying much (hell, he would be a laugh a minute that W- and he wouldn't even know why you were laughing. Can you see him laughing along anyway, pretending to get why you're cracking up?). Forget the others, as far as I'm concerned it's Barack and Hillary. One or the other. They're both smart, well-educated, and I pretty much stand behind their platforms (give or take a few issues- but isn't that always the way?). But here's the thing...Barack is a baby. He doesn't know the system (you can say that we need fresh blood all you want, that's bullshit. If you don't know how to play the game the other boys are going to walk all over you). Hillary knows what's up. She's been in the White House. No, she wasn't the Pres, but Bill was and you KNOW that she was in on so much of what went on, not to mention the fact that if she were elected he would be there to help. God, if only I could vote for Bill again.
The problem with Hillary is that she isn't the orator her husband is. He's got any and every room in the palm of his hand. You know that he's smarter than you are, but he makes you feel like he's just an average guy. Hillary too often seems kind of stand-offish. She's smart and can speak, but you don't want to hang with her (which I DO NOT think should be one of the criteria that we use to decide who we're going to vote for). But here she is...unscripted, not being coached, just sitting at a coffee shop answering some questions. And this is the person that I want to see lead the country. Smart, capable, well-spoken, real, human.

god, i'm so depressed today.

i couldn't have said it better myself.

what the hell kind of glass is this?

i bought these glasses (cup glasses- not glasses for your eyes) when i lived in france in 2000. i asked a friend to bring them back for me. somehow only 2 of them made them back and i JUST got them a few days ago. one broke today and i'm gutted. i need help because i'd do a search and buy new ones, but i can't figure out what to call them. i know it's frosted glass, but what is it? marbled? i dunno... here's a pic, see if you can tell me what you think you would call this. i would love love love to buy some more, but can't until i know what they are!!

this last one is brown, but i had them in different colors. you'll notice the base color has a slight tint and then the spotty bits are darker. i had red and green and blue...

also, in the pic there's iced coffee in the glass so that might make it look a little weirder, but you can totally see what it looks like.

HELP ME! I NEED THESE GLASSES! THE CONSUMER IN ME IS HAVING A MELTDOWN!

to tat or not to tat aka is a fleur de lis a fleur de lis, even if it doesn't really look like one?

we all know that i am the original holder of the nola tat. got it in 2000 waaaaaay before it was popular. i have recently decided though that when i move to scotland in the spring of 09 that i would like to get a fleur de lis as well. i don't want just any ol' fleur de lis though. i want one that's super special and unique (and that's going to hurt like hell). so, i found this one that looks very little like a fleur de lis, but it obviously is one. i'd like you all to tell me what you think. should i get it (not in this color, but the same design) or should i go for a more traditional one?

please, comment comment comment! i really am asking for opinions here!!!

and just for you curious kids out there here's the original... (and those are my fingers above and below the tat, thank you!)

and here's a pic of meeg getting his fleur de lis just so that all of you who haven't seen it can (and cus i know we're all aching to see him without a shirt on...)

anecdote that is NOT for the faint of heart- i'm talking to you men here...graphic women's stuff coming...

ok, so i've never been one to be spot on (no pun intended) when it comes to my, erm, cycle. i'm usually a little late. always have been. whatevs. i used to write it down (cus that's the smart thing to do). for the last 6 months or so i haven't been though. so, today i'm just chillin' and i feel, well, blood (ladies know what i'm talking about- you can feel it start). i'm thinking to myself, 'my last one was maybe two weeks ago, this is waaaaay early'. i go check and lo and behold, a good amount. so, i start to panic. i call my dad (who is an MD and i can talk to him about these things), and he says, 'go get a pregnancy test, but don't worry. it's probably just hormonal spotting, blah, blah'.

here's where the funny part of the story comes in. i rush to cvs (sans bra) and call my husband who is at work. he seems confident that it was longer than two weeks ago and that at most i am a few days early. i am not so sure. yes, it's bizarre that he would remember these things better than i.

so, i'm in cvs and i think, 'if my last period was longer ago and i'm just early then i need tampons. if it wasn't...well, i need a pregnancy test like my dad said'. so, i grab both and go up to the counter. i'm a little panicked so i also ask for a pack of cigarettes. i look up at the 60+ year old man ringing me up and say, "i know this has to be one of the weirdest combinations of purchases ever. please don't judge me. i AM married, you know"

a) why did i have to justify buying a pregnancy test by saying i was married?

b) why did i feel so guilty buying cigarettes and a pregnancy test? (ok, i know the answer to that)

c) the guy gave me the weirdest look that pretty much said, "say whatever you like, babe. judgment has already been cast- you harlot!!"

i still don't know what's up- i just got back and have to wait to be able to take the test but i'm sure (touch wood) that i'll be ok. just thought that some of you would find it amusing that i'm asking cvs cashiers not to judge my am i/am i not/i am stressed and therefore going to damage a potential child for life purchases.

meeg thought it was funny, anyway.

friday's brush with fame.

so, i was sitting at work minding my own business (not reading craigslist) today (oh, i guess that was yesterday now), and these two guys walk in to get something notarized. i noticed right away that they were a) super cute and b) and blinged as i have ever seen anyone. seriously, i've never actually seen one of those 3 inch solid diamond watches- but now i have! it was actually kind of hot in an, i could sell that and buy a house, sort of way.


those of you who know me know that i'm a goofy-ass to begin with, and that i'm usually really good with new people. i have no issues goofing with people i don't know or being silly, playing around and making jokes, whatever. new people don't scare me and i'm good at providing that little bit of entertainment (thank you all those years at coffee shops!!). so, we're signing papers and what-not and i'm joking around with them the whole time. we're all laughing and they were super cool. i also noted that they had just shelled out 6 figures for a new car (not like that made me like them more, but still noteworthy).


after talking to them for a while and finishing up their paperwork they tell me that they are rappers. they're with power and money (the label that, if i'm not mistaken, is new orleans/atlanta and has something to do with cash money records, too). so they go and get me a cd and one of them signs it for me. they're called the Magnolia Boyz.


it was all cool. the really cool one (tigity) asked for my number (and i mentioned gavin- who listens to rap, so he wasn't hitting on me or anything). he said that when they were playing shows and what-not that he would call and get us on the lists. i don't know if he lost that number 20 seconds after i gave it to him or what but it was nice of him to offer (it was also nice of him to give me the cd and sign it).


they asked if i had a break coming up and i said that i could just put up the 'gone to the bathroom' sign and go take a break if i wanted. so, we all went out and hung out by tigity's new car while they were waiting for one of their friends to show. again, they were funny and nice and all about joking around and just generally being cool. i'm not big on their brand of rap, but i have to recommend them just based on the fact that they were cool as hell, y'all!! here's the pic tigity let me snap of him (way to always carry a camera, nicole!!).

cool, no?

my two fave things. craigslist and gang bangs.

as some of you may know i do fuck all at work most of the time. i'm a notary/lawyer/whatever. when i don't have a client/customer in the office there's just nothing for me to do. so, i have to be creative. i sit online a lot. i talk to meeg and dave on gmail (and some others- occasionally i participate in some good gBanter), i read (if there's a book that interests me at the moment), i bebo, facebook, myspace. In short, i do everything and anything that will pass the time. for some reason lately i have taken to reading the 'casual encounters' section on craigslist. i think that this is because my friend stephanie is obsessed with 'missed connections' and i think that she's convinced that someone, somewhere, someday will see her in a cafe and pine for the woman he didn't have the nerve to talk to (and then he'll post it on craigslist, of course-"you, woman in white strappy shirt and flowing skirt. beautiful, long blonde hair. you ordered an iced latte. me, short brown hair in the green sweater. i had a caramel cappuccino. you smiled at me and we shared an unspoken yet intense moment. could it be possible that you're the one? i hate it that i was too nervous to talk to you then. is there anyway that the fates will be kind and bring you back to me? please write soon.).
anyway, 'casual encounters' is ccccrazy. of course, there are just the (sort of) normal people who post because they just want to have sex with someone and they don't feel like trolling the bars. there are also tons of scam ads (woman seeking men- and then you open it and there's a website you have to join). but then there are ads that are just so kinked out that they even make MY jaw drop (which is pretty hard to do).
Like this one that i found (oh yeah, there were pics too. yummy).

I am looking for some guys for gang bang right away. bi guys welcome also. email pics or stats .

ok, everyone has their things, and i am ALL for it. i say that anything consenting adults do is fantastic. whatevs. live and be happy.

but i still love it and think it's awesome and funny that there are people out there posting because they really need a gang bang right away! not just i need sex now, but i need sex with lots of people ASAP.

who would have ever thought that the words 'gang bang' would end up appearing in one of my posts multiple times? (don't you dare answer that!!!)

breaking news...lenny kravitz is boring as hell

so, gavin sees a lot of celebs as he works at whole foods (and where else is a good celeb going to shop in new orleans- certainly not the one in metairie- pffftt). he told me just the other day that lenny kravitz came in the store with an entourage of skinny ass chicks (i've met him before and can attest to the fact that he goes nowhere without these, erm, lovely ladies), and (naturally) his PA. his pa went up to gavin and asked where the water was. gavin started to say that the cooler with the single bottles of water were... and then lenny pipped up with, 'no, man. i only drink room temperature water.' so, gavin showed him where that was.

in all fairness i like my water room temp, too and if i could have an entourage of skinny chicks and a PA i'd be all over it, but really! do they have to go to whole foods with you? the water ailse is a WHOLE aisle. now all of these people are too lazy/dumb to just read the big signs over the aisles? what's going on lenny. ohhhhhh, he was probably high. that makes it ok then.

Happy New Year!!!

Happy New Year's everyone! I hope you're all eating your cabbage and black eyed peas. I was going to do a post about weird New Year's traditions, but I found that most of them involve eating with family, blowing things up (usually fireworks), and dropping big balls (wow, that sounds bad). So, instead of an informative post about people in remote parts of asia who must eat rice balls and fish on new year's day, or the fact that it's not actually new year's day in china, i'm just going to say... happy new year, everyone!!

I hope that 2008 brings you all health, happiness, love, prosperity, and a democrat in the White House (don't even ask me which one, that's a kettle of fish we just ain't opening right now).

love to you all.

oh yeah, and if everyone could please try to be a little more 'green' in 2008 we (me and al) would really appreciate it. go out and shop for those solar panels, people!!!

much love,

nic