Saturday, May 23, 2009

Is This Shit Following Me Or Something?


i know that it's been ages since i last posted and much has happened since then. i left my beloved new orleans (which is actually one reason that i haven't written- i wasn't quite sure what to do with 'from the streets of katrinaville' when i was no longer actually ON those streets. i can't change the web address- that i know of- and from the streets of aberdeen just doesn't sound right). i think that since i've been here for about a month now (and because i can say with all certainty that my heart still remains very much rooted in new orleans) that there's no problem with me posting here as I am from the streets of k-ville and no relocation will change my feelings for my birthplace.
so i'll give a quick run-down just for those of you who are interested and need filling in (although this isn't really what this post is about).
the last weeks in new orleans were pretty hectic. i worked until the 31st of march, we made sure we got our last paychecks, moved out of our apartment, hung out with as many friends as possible, made sure we were packed and had all of our money, etc together and set off around the 9th (i think) to drive from nola to washington, d
c. in the last week or so of being in new orleans i caught some strain of the flu that was so horrid and hard to shake that if you now told me it had been swine flu i would not question you on the diagnosis. gavin got it first and then gave it to me so i was actually more sick towards the end than he was. i didn't even get out of bed for the last three days. i stayed in my brother's apartment and attempted to sleep off my raging fever. anyway, the day came when i knew we had to leave regardless of how i felt and so off we drove. we stopped in atlanta even though we were meant to see lovely liz in greenville. i was too ill and the weather too bad to go any further the first night. we then drove through to my brother's in dc. rather than see lovely meeg or even go see any of the things that i had wanted to (the cherry blossom trees were in bloom) i stayed in and slept in yet another brother's apartment trying to shake the never-ending fever (and somehow i had totally lost my voice along the way). we stayed for t
wo days and then my brother drove us to new york so that we could catch the boat. once more, we didn't get to see lovely suzie as we were only in brooklyn for enough time to unload the car, give scott a hug and go check in to get on the boat. i spent the first 3 days not leaving the cabin. just too sick. he explored plenty while i slept. we ventured out a little in the last two days but i still wasn't feeling very well. we met his parents in southampton, drove up as far as blackpool (which is a whole different post) for the night and then completed our journey the next day, finally arriving in ellon.
now i've been here for almost a month (and no, i haven't seen the loch ness monster- in fact, i haven't even seen loch ness) and have done surprisingly little. the first week was a wash. i had to sleep to fully recuperate, we had to unpack, there were so many loads of clothes to wash that it's kind of unbelievable, etc. then began the task of organising the mundane-- i had to get a bank account (a painful process that took over a week), register
with the national health service, make sure that my address has been changed properly with folks like the irs, etc. i have done some sight-seeing and venturing out but, again, that's for another post.
what i really want to talk about is that fact that it seems like, since i've been here, i've somehow brought with me from the states an infection. shockingly, it's not even the flu that plagued me for so long- it's a political one. just as i was thinking to myself, 'ok, i can leave the states now, obama has it under control, i don't have to worry anymore' i come to a country that i felt had always had a more solid, socialist leaning, competent (ish) political system. the W virus that i brought with me though has spread to whitehall and is cracking that very government at its roots. there's now talk of totally re-hauling parliament as the scandals that are breaking on a daily basis are unearthing corruption and gross mis-use of public funds (and g
eneral fuckery) on a level that can only put down to something like the W virus.
so, here's a basic rundown just so that you know a bit about how it works so that you can know a bit about why it's falling apart...
in the UK there are districts. each district has an elected official that is an MP (a member of parliament). these mps all sit in the house of commons, which is effectively the same thing as congress if the house and senate sat together and yelled and jeered at one another openly and a lot (which is actually really entertaining- watch 'prime minister's questions' on c-span if you haven't or want to see hilarious political posturing and just good old fashioned british comedy). thing is that here in the UK, party affiliation means A LOT more than it does in the states (if you can believe that). mps ALWAYS vote with their party, th
ey DO NOT cross party lines in any vote on any proposed legislation. the country votes as to which party will have the most mps in the house and from that party rises the prime minister (who isn't really directly elected in the way that we elect the president). there isn't so much a set term for the prime minister as there are 'general elections' which either confirm that the country still stands behind the party that is presently in power or demands that another party assume control and then their head buffoon becomes pm. labour had always been the liberal party and the conservatives were, well, the conservatives. thanks largely to tony blaaauuughhhh and his lap-doggery with W the labour government has become more and more conservative and the liberal democratic party has pretty much taken their place and the actual liberal party in the house. nonetheless, labour is still in power (although it se
ems that there will be an inevitable shift from that in the next general election). the prime minister MUST call a general election under a number of different circumstances- but let's not get into that now. let's just say that he doesn't have to right now- mr. gordon brown (who is scottish, by the way) has about another year to sit around and continue to fuck things up until he has to put it to the vote and risk allowing his party to be ousted as the controlling party.
so, here's the BIG problem... in trying to fix the faltering economy (as all governments are trying to do) it has recently come to light that mps are given what are essentially expense accounts. only thing is, they aren't expense accounts because all they really have to do is hand in receipts, etc and they are just given the money they claim. they can claim money to pay for second homes (the logic behind this is that they have to live in the district that they represent but must also be present in london to sit in the house, therefore they have to have two actual residences) and the upkeep thereof. this is just bloody insane as they are all paid
well enough to afford flats in london or in their districts without pulling from the public purse to pay for them. it's also crazy because not one of them uses this nonsense responsibly. they use this second home allowance on crazy extravagant homes with lavish grounds and claim tens of thousands of pounds annually on such fuckery as pond maintenance. even mps that represent districts that are virtually walking distance from the actual house claim second homes, a fact that is controversial and astounding. what makes all of this even better is that none of this was supposed to come to light. it's all covered by official secrets and while the public knew that there were expense accounts, they had no idea how much the mps were spending or what they were spending it on. now it's all been revealed and it comes as no surprise that people are livid. at the same time that all parties are calling for cut backs in spending on
health care and public services, these VERY SAME people are using tax money because their hedges at their second homes are just way too out of control and a landscaper is needed ASAP, lest things really get nuts. at a time when unemployment is out of control (i've only JUST found a job working in a pub and i only got that because i know someone who works there) so more people are forced to rely on government assistance to pay for frivolous things like rent and food mps feel that they are being victimised because last week they said that they were going to have to really cut back on helping people pay for potatoes and thi
s week are being yelled at for using enough tax-payer money to give everyone in the country enough potatoes to last until the end of the century to pay the mortgage on their 2 million pound second home that's an hour's drive from their 4 million pound first ones.
and SERIOUSLY these mps are really on the defensive. not in an, 'i'm so sorry, that was really stupid and irresponsible of me' sort of way but in an 'i didn't do anything wrong! why are you yelling at me? i need that house and couldn't just let the duck pond remain untended, could i?' sort of way. can you imagine how outraged the american public would be if they found out that hillary had used tax money to buy a couple of houses, furnish
them, make sure the grounds remained immaculate, paid staff to clean and cook, paid the utilities and then used even more of it to shuffle herself and her hubby between the houses and washington? the woman would be brought into the town center and stoned to death. here, the mps are being all self-righteous and unapologetic.
so, the public is furious and now everybody's saying that there needs to be a total re-haul of the way the government works. the speaker of the house of commons has already been forced to step down as a result of all of this (a position that that he had held for decades and the first time that that's happened in living memory). they're actually talk
ing about making the system more like the american system, whereby each mp is elected partially because of party affiliation and partially because they are the lesser of all possible evils. they're also talking about making it so that mps actually have individual votes in the house so that each one truly represents his/her constituency rather than just voting with the party. it is not possible at present for an mp to vote across party lines. it just can't happen and they somehow think that this is the only way that anything will ever get done. if that were the case, nothing would EVER get done in washington... oh wait, my bad.
so yea, i get here and within a month corruption and ineptitude become the order of the day in whitehall. awesome.
i can only hope that i also brought with me a little bit of the obama luck and that this means that reforms will shortly be the order of the day. maybe get this place cleaned up a little.
for now, keep your eye out for updates (don't worry, next post will be lovely and light-hearted-- and soon-- i promise). i'll let you know how we're getting on here on the streets of her majesty's kingdom of great britain and northern ireland...
damn, that one REALLY doesn't work.

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