how i learned to stop worrying and love myself...giving up the cigarettes.

so i've officially decided. i need to quit smoking. it's really gotten out of control. the expense notwithstanding, i just smoke too much. i sit at a computer all day long-- while i'm working, while i'm writing, while i'm mucking about on myspace, etc. even when i'm not on the computer, i'm smoking. it's gotten so bad that sometimes when i laugh really really hard i start to cough a bit. i don't have that persistent smoker's cough (yet- touch wood), but it's bad enough to have to worry about something being TOO funny because you'll cough!! ugh, something else horrid. i use my left hand- my ashtray sits on that side of my comptuer, and i hold my ciggarette high up between the pointer and middle fingers on my left hand (so that i can still type). that spot on my hand is starting to discolor. it really is so terrifying.
problem is that i don't WANT to give up. i know that i should, i kind of want to, but i don't WANT to! i like smoking. i always have. it's one of my favorite things to do.
so my question is this- knowing that (even though i don't really want to but i feel like i need to- and there is that small part of me that wants to) i really need to stop, how do i?
i've gone cold turkey and lasted about 3 months without smoking before. then i don't even remember what happened and i started again. i've slowly weaned myself down to a cigarette or less a day until i was not smoking at all and then given up for a few weeks (that was right before katrina hit). i've heard patches are crap- my elder brother used to wear them AND smoke. gum's not going to work- i hate gum- i sort of grind my teeth in my sleep, so chewing gum makes my jaw hurt.
so what do i do here, people? do i try cold turkey again? do i try the (expensive) patch? if any of you have been REAL smokers and given up, please... do tell. how did you do it?
i know the dangers. i'm going to be 32 at the end of the month. enough is enough. i still have time to let my body almost totally repair itself. it's not too late for me.
help!!!
was is it that they say? the first step is in admitting that you have a problem...

hello, my name is nicole and i'm addicted to cigarettes.