Open Letter to Gerard Butler...

Gerry,
we have to talk. i haven't said too much about you here and i think that the things that i've said have been fairly complementary (at least in terms of your looks) but i have given you a hard time in terms of your ability to act. now, i've seen a couple more of your films and i've learned some things about ones that i'd already seen that cast them in a different light... so i have to say that i'm sorry for saying that we would just put you in front of a camera so that you could look pretty.
the first thing is that i really didn't realize that that was you in, 'dear frankie'. i saw that movie years ago, loved it and just didn't know who you were. i did really like you in it, though and thought that you acted very well. i also recently saw, 'rocknrolla' (or however it's meant to be written) and i thought that you were really good and funny in that, as well (although i really think that guy ritchie just needs to stop. it's the same movie over and over. that being said, if i were offered a part in a woody allen movie i would take it in a heartbeat- even if it was just a rehashing of something he'd done before. BUT woody just did 'vicky christina barcelona' which isn't really anything like his other films and other that 'swept away'-- i'll pause so that you can all breathe to keep yourselves from gagging-- ritchie keeps churning out the same shit). anyway, i understand why you would want to work with him and i thought that the movie was ok but more to the point, you were good in it.
i have also come to the conclusion that although it is a VERY sappy love story, if it were not for the presence of hillary swank in 'P.S. I Love You', that it could have been much better. In fact, i thought that you were good in it. she was rubbish and yet i genuinely believed that you were in love with her. anyone who can pull that off has to be given some sort of props for acting ability. i even like your singing in it. thought it was pretty damn good. we will come to accents in a bit...
last night i saw, 'Butterfly on a Wheel'. ok, so the movie was a bit odd and i called the ending really early in (to a certain extent) but i again thought that you were good. i like the raw emotion that your capable of showing on screen. it's a clive oweny type of thing. it doesn't seem contrived or forced. when you seem angry or frightened (or even in love) i believe you. and isn't that the mark of good acting.? again, we'll come to accents in a bit...
as far as '300' goes, i saw it not really knowing what it was and thought that it was an overly-digitized, historically inaccurate abomination. then i learned that it was a frank miller piece. to my mind that forgives the animated look of the film and even the historical inaccuracies. it's frank miller, it was meant to look like a graphic novel (it was, in fact, a graphic novel brought to the screen- just like 'sin city'). so that's ok. i thought that you were good in it now that i know what it was going for. at first i thought that you were way over the top (which you would have been if it had been a normal film) but it was MEANT to be over the top. so, for making fun of that, i am sorry. i now see that you pulled off what you were aiming for (and now i sort of like it- not enough to see it again- but nonetheless).
i also re-watched bits of 'Mrs. Brown' and although you're only in it for a bit, i have to say that you were good in it. there was no overacting, you fit into the role as you should have. you were believable and it was a good part for you.
on the other hand, i'm scared to watch 'Phantom of the Opera'. i really am not quite sure why you would agree to make this into a film but i don't want to tarnish the image i have of you now so i think i'm going to steer clear of it.
oh, i also saw, 'Nim's Island' and as much as i can't stand jodie foster i thought that it was a cute family film and that you were good in it. it was just an average film in general but i have no complaints about your acting in it, so that's a plus for you.
i'm going to ignore that you did 'tomb raider' because no matter how good or bad you might have been in it i won't be able to focus on what you're doing because i'll be too busy cringing at st. angie's accent...
speaking of accents, we've come to that time. now, in many of your films you roll with your own accent (which is beautiful, i might add). great deep voice, great posh(ish) glaswegian accent... i love it. in others (like, 'ps i love you' and 'butterfly on a wheel') you go for first an irish accent and then an american one. now, british actors are well known for their ability to morph into other accents (especially american ones) but in 'butterfly on a wheel' it actually took me about 20 minutes to figure out if you were doing an american accent or just playing a scottish guy who's lived in the states for so long that his accent is lighter than it once was. but no, you were going for american. you either need an accent coach or you need to just stop taking rolls that require you to put on an accent. your accent in 'ps i love you' sounds like no irish person i've ever met (and i've met quite a few) and i shouldn't have to struggle to try and figure out where you're from in a film. i should just know, 'oh, he's american'. i'm not sure why your directors aren't pointing this flaw out to you, but someone has to. i think that maybe your accent is just too strong perhaps. i'm not sure. all i know is, stick to your real accent. the films that you're in in which you use your real voice are much better and the weirdness doesn't get in the way.
to conclude (for now) i'll just say that i'm sorry that i said that you were just a pretty face (although you are that, too). you've actually done some really good work and i look forward to seeing you progress in the future. just please-- stop making movies with hillary swank and st. angie (oh, and i hear you're doing something with katherine heigel now-- for the love of god!! make sure who's in the movie BEFORE you accept the role!). you can get better leading ladies. seriously.
on a slightly personal note- i read your bio thing on imdb and i have to say that i love you all the more for being a lawyer who quit to become an actor, that you saved that kid's life during 'mrs brown' and that you are apparently really cool to EVERYONE on set, not just the big celebs. props for that. i'm still questioning your taste in women but i can't begin to believe that you've really been with everyone they've linked you with (i mean, travis barker's ex? that ho? come on...) so i'll just live with the knowledge that you're a man-whore (i'm not complaining) with possibly dubious taste (cameron diaz?!? uugghh). still, if you can take the ladies and then walk away (especially a-listers like funky face diaz) more power to you.
all the best,
nicp.s. you really are just smokin' hot (and you sooooo know it).