Thursday, December 27, 2007

i think my soul might need saving...

but i'm not sure which direction to go in. there are so many faiths, so many off-shoots of so many faiths, so many crazy people...what is a girl to do? how about we do a little investigating and decide what path i'll take, shall we?


HINDUISM- ok, so first of all hinduism isn't actually one religion. it's more like a catch-all phrase for a bunch of different yet similar faiths that began in ancient India. there are dozens upon dozens of deities in the hindu pantheon, the most important being Brahma (the creator), Vishnu (the sustainer), and Shiva (the destroyer). the destroyer isn't actually a bad thing though. life without shiva would be impossible, as the hindus believe that life is cyclical. there can be no rebirth without destruction.

some of the most important beliefs in hinduism are 1) the belief in karma. hindus essentially believe that what goes around comes around. if you are bad, you will be punished either in this life or the next. 2) hindus believe in reincarnation. after we die, the atman (the immortal soul) is born into a new life, and so on and so on. this endless cycle of death and rebirth is called samsara. what you're reincarnated into is determined by your karma (so be good, people. buying me presents will get you far). the ultimate goal in hinduism is freedom from the cycle of death and rebirth (moksha). there is no real vision of heaven in hinduism. the idea is there but there's no real description of the experience. i guess we can assume it's supposed to be a good one.



BUDDHISM- buddism and hinduism are not all that dissimilar. in fact Sidhartha, the Buddha himself, was raised as a Hindu. both religions believe in reincarnation and karma. one of the key differences between the two religions is that there are no gods in buddhism. buddha himself was not a god (he was more like a prophet). anyone who meditates to the point of enlightenment can become a buddha as well. there are good rules in buddhism (as in all good organized religions), like the four noble truths and the noble eightfold path. these are basically instructions on how to lead a good life and how to reach the level of enlightenment.
the key in buddhism is meditation, meditation on emptiness (sunyata). it is the key buddhist concept that teaches that life and the universe is impermanent and illusory. as in hunduism, the ultimate purpose of all of this is to escape samsara (the cycle of death and rebirth). when one does they are liberated to nirvana- where they will be free from longing or attachment. reaching nirvana is very difficult and you'll go through ages upon ages of reincarnation until your karma is such that you deserve to be at this highest of high levels.




ZOROASTRIANISM- (this one's for you, meeg) according to zoroastrianism one cannot convert in, you must be born into the faith. it was founded about 3,500 years ago and it's one of the earliest monotheistic religions. it shares ideas with Judaism and directly influenced Christianity and Islam. zoroastrians believe that there is only on god (Ahura Mazda), who created the world and is entirely good. They believe that the duty of man is to align himself with Ahura Mazda through "good thoughts, good words, and good deeds". There is a devil figure as well (Angra Mainyu), who is the source of evil (including death). They also believe that the spirit of evil contaminates dead bodies, making them so impure that they can contaminate the ground. so, they dispose of bodies in the most interesting way possible. it is common to hire corpse bearers to take bodies to a "pillar of silence" where they are exposed to the sun and scavenger birds. they also believe that Ahura Mazda's infinite mercy will eventually allow everything and everybody to be perfected- emptying hell and providing the happiest of happy endings for everyone.

SHINTOISM- it's the traditional religion of japan (and i think it's kind of the coolest). it's so ancient that nobody can say when it was founded or who it was that founded it. rituals vary between families and locations but their basic goal is the same- to strengthen the relationship between people and kami (kind of like gods, but more like spirits). kami can be anything from forces of nature, to deceased loved ones, to mount fuji. getting in touch with kami requires personal and group purification and elaborate rituals.

in the shinto faith humans are born pure and good, but our souls can become 'dirty' as we age (either by bad deeds or just bad luck). all impurity is seen as the work of evil spirits, which are banished with rituals.

shinto has no absolute moral laws, no leaders to obey, and no rules against adhering to other religions (many people who practice shinto also consider themselves buddhists). shinto doesn't really have much to say on the afterlife. death consists of a 'dark land' or a 'high plain of heaven', but it really doesn't go into much more detail than that.



SCIENTOLOGY- now it's time for fun!! it's totally unclear how many people are scientologists. the actual church claims it's in the millions but independent researchers have found far fewer than that. it was founded in 1954 by crazy-ass L Ron Hubbard. they believe that every person has an undying, unchanging soul called a thetan. for most of us, that soul is locked in an uncontrollable cycle of birth, death, and rebirth. the only way to alter this is to become enlightened (which means realizing that you are an undying soul and understanding the fundamental truth of the universe). problem is, everyone's truth is different, so you have to follow your own truth. you must rid your body of dangerous chemicals (even if you have postpartum depression) and rid yourself of all of the traumas of your past (both past life trauma and childhood trauma). to do this you go through counseling (that is scientology-specific, and for which you must pay. in fact, the higher you go in terms of your teachings, the more you have to pay). what makes scientology even weirder is that because your truth (and your universe) is unique to you, so is your afterlife. if you reach the highest level (an operating thetan) you can pick what your afterlife is going to be like (they can even opt to be reborn as tom cruise).



ISLAM- according to the Qur'an, there is only one God who is worshiped by Jews, Christians, and Muslims alike. Muslims believe that God keeps sending prophets to try to set us straight, but that we keep messing it up. only followers of the last and greatest prophet, Muhammad, no what's really up. to be a really good muslim you need to live in submission to the will of god. to do that you must follow the 5 pillars of islam- 1) believing that there is only one god and that muhammad is his prophet 2) praying 5 times a day 3) taking care of the poor and the needy 4) fasting during the month of Ramadan and 5) making a pilgrimage to mecca.
for most mulims heaven doesn't come until the final day of judgement BUT there are shortcuts. you can bypass the waiting by becoming a religious martyr and there are some who believe that people who die by fire, drowning, or some other gruesome means can head straight into the arms of the virgins as well.


YORUBA- yorubans were brought from africa in the 18th and 19th centuries. they were victims of the slave trade and were forced to meld into the melting pot. in the process they created small but prominent religions in the americas, like santeria and voodoo. the pure yoruban religion believes that there is one supreme god (olorun) who rules over a pantheon of smaller, lesser gods. worshipers might follow a particular deity or seek help from any of them if need be (i think of them sort of like the catholic saints). fortune-telling is very big in yoruban religion and most practitioners believe that fortunes can be told and even changed. they believe that people can be reborn if they still have unfinished business or lessons to learn on earth.



SIKHISM- founded in india in 1499 by the founder Guru Nanak. he set out to change the oppressive caste system by declaring that all people should be treated as god's children regardless if class or sex. he emphasized the importance of an individualized relationship with god, banning religious icons, pilgrimages, fasts, and everything else that feels like superstition (including intitiation rites). if you want to be a sikh, you just start being one. it's that easy. they focus their spiritual energy on prayer and honest living. they believe that this builds good karma for the next life and that they will eventually leave a mortal existence for an eternity of oneness with god. the one symbolic thing that is most associated with sikism is that males wear turbans to cover their hair, which they never ever cut. it is seem as a symbol of god's gifts to man and leaving it uncut symbolizes gratitude for those gifts.


i think that that's about it for now. i'm going to write a post later about Christianity and Judaism (as i think that those two are big enough subjects for their very own posts).

hope you've enjoyed our little lesson.

3 comments:

Meeg said...

Nice. Come to think of it, I'd like to learn more about scientology. Maybe I'll stop by my local Scientology center over by Dupont Circle and see if I don't come out with some more information.

Stinky's Mommy and Daddy said...

remember this time that it was your idea and that if you come out a convert you can't blame me. i will begrudgingly get the super friends together to come rescue you though!

Meeg said...

With aquaman leading the way?