ohhh the recipe cards...how i love them (still)

i'm not going to take credit for any of this. meeg was the one who found them about 5 years ago and when i saw them i laughed so hard i woke him up (this was when we were living together and i think he was napping or something). i'm going to post my faves and this woman's hilarious commentary that goes with them. seriously, she's a genius!!

Chicken Liver Bake: enjoy it with the ashes of a loved one.
Or maybe what's left of the chickens are in that urn. Maybe the chickens were your loved ones.
But chickens never love back enough. And that's why you have to KILL them. And eat their livers ritualistically. And then they're a part of you forever. Forever.

These are the saddest diet beverages ever.
The one on the right is skim milk and orange pulp. The one on the left is made with water, sherry extract, and two beef bouillon cubes.
No, really.
Well, there's also celery in it. Oh, and SELF-LOATHING.

I have no idea what "shashlik" is. All I know about this dish is that it's meat. And that the meat's, uh... caucasian.

My guess is they tried being consistent with the plural at first, and then decided that SNACKS ON STICKS sounded too disturbing. Like Apocalypse Now food or something.
This is frozen coffee, people. Yeah, it almost sounds kind of good, until you freeze a whole bunch and take them out and look at them and hit a few of them together and hear them go thunk thunk, and say, "oh fuck this shit," and drop the whole tray on the floor in disgust.

ok, you'll just have to read the rest of them for yourself. they are all just too funny. here's the link... enjoy!!! http://www.candyboots.com/wwcards.html