ok, so i've never been one to be spot on (no pun intended) when it comes to my, erm, cycle. i'm usually a little late. always have been. whatevs. i used to write it down (cus that's the smart thing to do). for the last 6 months or so i haven't been though. so, today i'm just chillin' and i feel, well, blood (ladies know what i'm talking about- you can feel it start). i'm thinking to myself, 'my last one was maybe two weeks ago, this is waaaaay early'. i go check and lo and behold, a good amount. so, i start to panic. i call my dad (who is an MD and i can talk to him about these things), and he says, 'go get a pregnancy test, but don't worry. it's probably just hormonal spotting, blah, blah'.
here's where the funny part of the story comes in. i rush to cvs (sans bra) and call my husband who is at work. he seems confident that it was longer than two weeks ago and that at most i am a few days early. i am not so sure. yes, it's bizarre that he would remember these things better than i.
so, i'm in cvs and i think, 'if my last period was longer ago and i'm just early then i need tampons. if it wasn't...well, i need a pregnancy test like my dad said'. so, i grab both and go up to the counter. i'm a little panicked so i also ask for a pack of cigarettes. i look up at the 60+ year old man ringing me up and say, "i know this has to be one of the weirdest combinations of purchases ever. please don't judge me. i AM married, you know"
a) why did i have to justify buying a pregnancy test by saying i was married?
b) why did i feel so guilty buying cigarettes and a pregnancy test? (ok, i know the answer to that)
c) the guy gave me the weirdest look that pretty much said, "say whatever you like, babe. judgment has already been cast- you harlot!!"
i still don't know what's up- i just got back and have to wait to be able to take the test but i'm sure (touch wood) that i'll be ok. just thought that some of you would find it amusing that i'm asking cvs cashiers not to judge my am i/am i not/i am stressed and therefore going to damage a potential child for life purchases.
meeg thought it was funny, anyway.
3 comments:
I just think it's interesting that everything you bought was roughly cylindrical - you harlot!
well what was the outcome of the test?????
the test was negative (as i knew it would be- we're careful!!). i guess i just started hella early. i'm telling you, once you hit 30 you never know what the hell your body's going to do! it just starts a' freaking out on you!
and i know, i know, i'm a harlot and all of my purchases (not just on that night) mark me as such. i should have bought condoms and yeast infection treatment that night, too just to make the guy think that i was really really off it (god, what a nightmare that would be if you really did need all of those things!! i shudder to think!).
Post a Comment